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I need to know how to make myself stop feeling like I am abusing her when we have sex because considering the times we had sex before I had this mindset, it been an incredible experience of expressing our love to each other, and I really like to have that back.You use the word penetration, and talk about what you’re doing as stabbing or a kind of invasion. I also hear you saying that sex is something you are doing to your partner or on your partner rather than with your partner, or as something you are doing together. You frame sex as many people do cheap vibrators, unfortunately as something you have, rather than as something people actively and jointly do or create.Physically, metaphysically, and often emotionally and intellectually (sometimes even spiritually), sex is about people and their bodies interlocking in any number of ways, and about BOTH sets of genitals (or other parts), both bodies, both people being actively engaged, doing something together sex toysvibrators, not about one person doing something to, on or at the other.I know that can be quite the mental headstand when there are so many ideas and presentations of intercourse as men forcing themselves into women, as vaginas or vulvas as somehow passive and only penises as active, and with sex between men and women, as what men do to women, how men dominate women, but those ideas come more from political agendas and sexism and reactions to inequality and those agendas than they do from what is really happening with intercourse or other sex when any two (or more) people are sharing an experience that is mutually wanted, about mutual pleasure and real connectivity.Let’s take a look at a bit from Let’s Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry:There are debates within different feminist perspectives about how we construct the ideas of entry and intercourse, and whether these actions can ever truly be based in equality.

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