It’s more that I know that if I were to declare I’m not dating

Finding out where your desire lives and when it is and isn’t present may involve things like evaluating if you and your boyfriend actually have any strong sexual chemistry or not: if you do actually have sexual feelings for him, strong physical desires for him. If you don’t feel some kind of zingy feeling in your pants or other parts of your body when you’re with him, you probably don’t have that chemistry, and alas, it often isn’t something we can make happen. It tends to either be there or just not be there, and is one of the things we’re going to look TO be there if we are going to pursue a sexual relationship with someone.

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